I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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