No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
