Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
