Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize