My hand turned me down
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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