i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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