just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
