Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
