So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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