He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
