Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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