dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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