Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
