we're blogging at a bar
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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