while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize