so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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