You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
