I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
In America we eat man semen.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
