We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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