I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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