my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize