Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
