if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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