yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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