:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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