It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize