oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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