she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
