Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
