she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
he shaved USA in his pubs
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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