people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
