I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
