it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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