He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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