That's intense
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
