So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Sext me about skeletons
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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