Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
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