I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"