I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
