btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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