Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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