she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?