Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.