i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened