I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
