I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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