how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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