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so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It's never too late to be topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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