i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im holly from the hills drunk
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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