Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
