I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
