Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize