I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
