i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
