Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
