in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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