So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
