Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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