I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
