i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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