So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
