this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
