wanna go halves on a baby?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
