I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
