He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
