at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
