Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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