there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
They took my balls.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The power of my boobs compel you
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
