i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
