office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
