Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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