i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
