i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i was born a porn star she said
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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