Who wears a wallet chain?!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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