he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
